"As young women, we were taught to keep silent. We were taught early that taking second place is easier than first."

"You tell yourself that’s all right, but it’s not all right. It is important that we learn to express ourselves, to say what it is that we like, that we want."

Said Françoise Gilot, quoted in "Françoise Gilot: ‘It Girl’ at 100 The painter, writer and the only woman with the spunk and self-determination to leave Picasso has a few things to say about success, personal style and the nature of intimacy" (NYT).

She has not always been above using her looks to further her aims. Soon after they met, she writes, she took up Picasso’s invitation to teach her engraving. “I arrived on time wearing a black velvet dress with a high white lace collar, my dark red hair done up in a coiffure I had taken from a painting of the Infanta by Velázquez.”

When he remarked that her turnout was ill-suited for engraving, she informed him that she knew he had no intention of teaching that day. “I was simply trying to look beautiful,” she told him.

"She has not always been above using her looks to further her aims" — Is that sarcastic understatement?

Speaking of herself now, at the age of 100, she says: “Maybe I rather like the way I look... A sense of style is important... It’s like a pane of glass that makes you seem transparent but at the same time is a barrier.... You should not make yourself known that much to other people and keep your most intimate thoughts to yourself... People tell you to be natural. But what is natural, I would like to know?"

I read her book "Life with Picasso" half a century ago. Highly recommended.

How are you picturing that Infanta hairdo? This seems rather implausible:

"It may seem sweet that your new mate wants to spend all of their time with you. But more often, it’s a red flag..."

"The person may be a narcissist trying to isolate you from the other connections in your life as a way of exerting control....  [I]n cases of love bombing, attention flows in a single direction: One person tries to become the other’s whole world. Dr. Raghavan said that people who have been love bombed often feel as though they’ve lost their sense of self, which can take a long time to rebuild. 'You lose the sense of who you are because little things are being managed for you and these little things can be anything from how you dress to how you present yourself... But it can also be the kind of jokes you’re allowed to tell in public or the kind of woman that he wants you to be.'"

From "What Is ‘Love Bombing’? Grand romantic gestures in the early days of a relationship could be sweet — or a sign you’re dating a narcissist. Here’s how to tell the difference, according to experts" (NYT). 

The illustration is a whole bunch of hearts, so it's safe to say the season of Valentine's Day articles is upon us. Like Thanksgiving — with its articles about the difficulties of sitting through a dinner with your family — Valentine's Day articles these days are probably going to be negative. You think that's love? Think again. You think you want love? No, you don't.